Everyone has a story about themselves.
In fact, you have many stories about yourself. You are good as this… Bad at that… Love this… Don’t like that…
Nothing influences your experience more than the story you tell you about you.
Most people don’t know how to identify which of those stories are serving them, and which are not.
Your story of yourself is ALWAYS a story of the past or the future; oftentimes it’s of both.
It’s a great thing if your story is positive and constructive. I’m always on time. People can count on me. I’m good with computers. etc That self identification is terrific, because it brings you into situations with self confidence and the picture of a good outcome.
The problem is that not all of your stories serve you.
I’m not good with money. I have a terrible diet. I make decisions out of fear. I’m not a disciplined person. I’m not good at sales. etc
There are two things that help me to identify and overcome stories like these.
1. If you want to find your harmful stories, start by looking for your negative statements. Catching yourself saying negative things is an invaluable skill. For me, as soon as i realize what i’ve said, i grab a piece of paper and write it down. When it’s on paper, it’s no longer personal. I can look at what i’ve said as an observer and see what’s true for me.
2. Understand ALL stories are a story of the past or the future. When you say anything about yourself, you are either referencing something that has already happened or that you are picturing in the future. Whether something happened a second ago, hour ago or ten years ago; it’s in the past. The past is over. Observe the difference between I am not good a speaking in public and In the past, I haven’t been good at speaking in public. The sooner continues into the future and seems like a matter of fact (of course it is NOT a fact unless you want it to be) and the later is more true, and it leaves the future open to possibly.
This will sound very simplistic to some, but it’s not. The fix for this takes work. Sometimes lots of it. There is no pill for self-awareness. And even once you are aware of the story that isn’t true or isn’t serving you it takes a conscious effort to make that shift.
Certainly, that effort is worthwhile. As i mentioned in the video, grabbing out a pen and paper and writing some of these stories down is a terrific starting point.
be free! ericPS Here’s a list of stories that I have had about me that haven’t served me. I find that making them public also neutralizes them and takes their power away. These things may have been true in the past. They may be true in the future… and then they may not!
I’m not detail oriented I’m hard on people I can’t sing I’m hard on my body I never get enough sleep I’m bad a math I’m a bad writer I don’t get technology I’m a terrible boyfriend I’m too competitive I’m not creative I’m an extremist
Post some of your thoughts and see what happens.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Eric
Thanks for today’s message. I know from experience that this is more than positive thinking, it is re-training your brain. I have been working on my thought processes and have learned that I can change all those negative messages flying around in my mind. And what a difference it makes to my current state of mind – what a relief it is to have the negative noise turned down. It has helped make me more productive and happier on a day to day basis. Yes – it takes work and daily practice to achieve the results, but it is worth the work.
Colleen
Thank you, Eric. This one resinated with me. I love keeping the positive in the present and any negatives being reframed in the past. I will do this and I sincerely thank you.
Thank you so much Eric! You’re timing is perfect. Dealing with some financial issues and it will help to write down the stories and take a look at them. I know they are not serving me and the best part will be turning them around and just the awareness they exist makes me feel better. A Happy Monday indeed!
Hello Eric and Everyone else,
I absolutely loved this weeks video! Personally, I feel that I do a great job at being positive and performing uplifting self talk, but subconsciously I can definitely use some help. I’m excited to get started on this exercise. I’ll be sure to keep you all updated on my success.
Much love and joyyy,
Hakim Abas